hi girls! :) oh how i’ve missed my blog. don’t get me wrong, i have been creeping on all yours while i was away even if i didn’t comment on every single one.
so my little absense was because i wanted to get out and experience life. i feel liek SO much has happened that i need to talk about. and i need to be honest with you bloggies. i know that this might get a little personal and i dont know all of you which is fine but it’s my blog and i’m suppose to talk about what’s on my mind right? okay, well first off i went to FLORIDA! it was amazing. i had absolutely no anxiaty and no worries. my friend and i literally just laid out and ate and slept. it kinda got to ED b/c the lack of exercise but go figure, when i came home and went to the dr i hadnt gained/loss and ounce! i was the EXACT same. so take the ED. i do need food even if im not MOVING EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. so that was a nice experiment i guess. and vacation gave me the oppertunity to eat out a bit (subway/quiznos) and look, im still here!! no worries haha so that is def a challenge i overcame.
okay, moving on from my amazing vaca.. i have met a boy. i dont know if i have told you’all about him but we used to hang out in high school and he was really sweet and always liked me a lot. in high school we never did anything more than kiss. it was always really sweet when we hung out. so we started hanging out again, he goes to a college about 40 minutes away from my house and the same college im going to next year. it’s not a bad drive at all so i had been going down to see him. this has taken my mind off eating a lottt and it’s just been nice to feel “normal
sortof like hanging out with a guy and being on campus. but he doesn’t know anything about my eating disorder .. i feel like i should tell him? but i dont want to scare him off.. i know if he really likes me he shouldnt care. but im still really nervous? like it’s too soon to tell him that? and because of my ED i feel like im a person who needs lots of “love” i guess you could say? and hes not that type of person at all. he’s very reserved and if he calls me pretty thats a HUGE deal. like he never compliments me really.. i know it’s just boys but maybe i should just move on before i get hurt? when he doesnt answer texts or isnt really attentive ED gets the best of me so EASILY. ED tells me it’s because ive gained so much weight, or i ate X, or because i weight XXX. so thats where it’s getting personal!
but i feel better already just typing this all out in my blog. so therefore, my blogging will begin again :) i’ve missed it so much and i’ve felt so lost/alone without you guys. I LOVE YOU ! sometimes you need to be without something to realize how much you need something right?!
okay on to the good stuff — IVE HAD AWESOME EATS! i mentioned the quiznos/subway/STARBUCKS. im obssessed. CINNAMON SKINNY LATTE <33 YUM! okay, i had OIAJ w/ my DCD container, it was amazing. im sorry i have no foodie pics today because like i said i wasn’t expecting to be posting so expect some tmr :) love you’all