i need you.

hi girls! :) oh how i’ve missed my blog. don’t get me wrong, i have been creeping on all yours while i was away even if i didn’t comment on every single one.

so my little absense was because i wanted to get out and experience life. i feel liek SO much has happened that i need to talk about. and i need to be honest with you bloggies. i know that this might get a little personal and i dont know all of you which is fine but it’s my blog and i’m suppose to talk about what’s on my mind right? okay, well first off i went to FLORIDA! it was amazing. i had absolutely no anxiaty and no worries. my friend and i literally just laid out and ate and slept. it kinda got to ED b/c the lack of exercise but go figure, when i came home and went to the dr i hadnt gained/loss and ounce! i was the EXACT same. so take the ED. i do need food even if im not MOVING EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. so that was a nice experiment i guess. and vacation gave me the oppertunity to eat out a bit (subway/quiznos) and look, im still here!! no worries haha so that is def a challenge i overcame.

okay, moving on from my amazing vaca.. i have met a boy. i dont know if i have told you’all about him but we used to hang out in high school and he was really sweet and always liked me a lot. in high school we never did anything more than kiss. it was always really sweet when we hung out. so we started hanging out again, he goes to a college about 40 minutes away from my house and the same college im going to next year. it’s not a bad drive at all so i had been going down to see him. this has taken my mind off eating a lottt and it’s just been nice to feel “normal
sortof like hanging out with a guy and being on campus. but he doesn’t know anything about my eating disorder .. i feel like i should tell him? but i dont want to scare him off.. i know if he really likes me he shouldnt care. but im still really nervous? like it’s too soon to tell him that? and because of my ED i feel like im a person who needs lots of “love” i guess you could say? and hes not that type of person at all. he’s very reserved and if he calls me pretty thats a HUGE deal. like he never compliments me really.. i know it’s just boys but maybe i should just move on before i get hurt? when he doesnt answer texts or isnt really attentive ED gets the best of me so EASILY. ED tells me it’s because ive gained so much weight, or i ate X, or because i weight XXX. so thats where it’s getting personal!

but i feel better already just typing this all out in my blog. so therefore, my blogging will begin again :) i’ve missed it so much and i’ve felt so lost/alone without you guys. I LOVE YOU ! sometimes you need to be without something to realize how much you need something right?!

okay on to the good stuff — IVE HAD AWESOME EATS! i mentioned the quiznos/subway/STARBUCKS. im obssessed. CINNAMON SKINNY LATTE <33 YUM! okay, i had OIAJ w/ my DCD container, it was amazing. im sorry i have no foodie pics today because like i said i wasn’t expecting to be posting so expect some tmr :) love you’all

amy<3

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11 Responses to i need you.

  1. Molly says:

    looks like you have been having an amazing time :) and glad you “met” a new boy! I think you should tell him when you feel comfortable…you dont have to tell him anything you dont want to. but if you feel its a good time, or you HAVE to then do it! Until then, just enjoy each others company!:)

    but boys will be boys. Just because he isnt texting or he doesnt open up doesnt mean he is completly into you. If you are hanging out HE IS. I promise. Just take every moment as it comes. Stay true to who you are and live your own life…and then when the time comes, add him to it (a relationship should add to your life and not become it!) Enjoy girly!
    xo-Molly
    http://www.givinganythingbutup.wordpress.com

  2. debbie says:

    ah well personally I told my boyfriend about my ED like the second time I ever hung out with him…but it’s because I already felt super comfortable with him…as soon as you feel ready, do it.

    I understand the whole “needing lots of love” because you have an ED…like if my boyfriend doesn’t call me beautiful one day I freak out that he’s not attracted to me anymore, but we gotta realize this is all in our heads :) We ARE beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have us!

  3. Tori says:

    I think you shouldnt’ feel rushed to let him know about your ED. When it’s the right time, you’ll know it. And if he doesn’t except it in mature way, then you’ll also know he’s not the guy for you. But I’m sure everything will work out. Glad you’re having fun with him though!

    <3 Tori

  4. Though my BF knows I’ve struggled with ED, I’ve never had a totally open conversation with him about it and told him the details. Talk to him about it when you’re comfortable!

    Even after a year and a half, I still freak out when the boy doesn’t answer my calls/texts. Boys will be boys, it’s so cliche to say but from an outsider perspective it’s usually nothing to freak out about…we just make it such a big deal in our heads!

    Glad you had a good vacation!! Have a great Tuesday love :)

  5. kbwood says:

    Hey love!! I def dont think you should be rushed either! It takes time to open up, you will know when the right time is :) for me, i prayed about it a LOT and then God let me know what the right time was :) you are awesome!!

  6. Jennifer says:

    Amy I am so glad that you are back. You were missed. What part of FL did you visit? I’m here in Gator country. :) About the guy, I personally would wait just a little bit longer before telling him about your E.D. to be able to better see if you’re really compatible with him or not. Before getting into too much of your personal life, just take a little bit more time to see if he would be the right guy for you to open up to. Then if you feel that it is right, it’s time to take a leap of faith!

  7. Jenna says:

    GlAd you are back!! So jealous of your lil vaca and good job eating out! It will get so much easier after awhile-trust me!
    Jenna xo

  8. nattietan says:

    Welcome back hun! x) Glad you’re doing well and that your life’s picking up and getting exciting! I’m so happy for you. Don’t ever let ED get in the way of your happiness. I’m sure this guy must like you for you, but take it slow. Get to know him better and when you are comfortable with sharing with him about the ED, then do it. I’m sure you’ll know when the right time is when it comes!

    Nat xoxo

  9. Definitely don’t feel rushed about talking about your ED with him. I always feel weird if I don’t let people know, but at the same time I don’t really want people to know. It’s just a really personal thing, ya know? For me, anyway.
    So glad you’ve been enjoying life (: -Kylee

  10. Jenna says:

    Hey are you ver gonna blog again?! I think you should!

  11. kbwood says:

    HEY GIRL I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!
    PLEASE BLOG MORE!!

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