getting nutty

hey heyyy. how everyones thursday going? i always love thursday for some reason. maybe even more than friday/saturday. idk why haha. i woke up reallyyy light headed this morning so i skipped out on swimming which was probably a good idea. after breakfast i felt a little better. i think it’s my prozac maybe? i guess fatigue/weakness can be a sideeffect..anywho yesterday i just chilled out went to the store and work. i got some new bars! the kashi go lean crunch bar chocolate/caramel flavor. it was delishh. kinda chewy but i likeed it! i ate it on break at work.

have you tried these?!

i also got new smuckers natural pb at the store! it looked sooo good and i had it with an apple last night before bed. nom nom nom. and i did my sudoku:) i dk if ive mentioned this on my blog yet or not, but im absolutely obsessed with sudoku! haha my mom gets the paper every morning for me so i can work on it. i guess thats what i do to keep my mind fresh since im not in school tight now. lol

yummm!!!

work wasn’t too busy at all so i got to do some thinking. there was a young girl, probably about my age, that came into the store who was clearly pregnant. and she was looking at the baby items so that was another give away. she looked so upset to be all alone and a little scared. i talked to her and see if i could help her and she said no she couldnt afford any of the baby clothes we had to offer. i started to feel really sorry for her.. which then got to me. before i was in recovery i would have looked at the situation and punished myself (not eating) bc i have everything in the world i need, great parents, family, money, ect..but i let myself have an eating disorder. i know it’s really twisted but thats how i saw it. but yesterday was the first time i realized that i am gonig through something really hard, just as hard as that girl maybe. i fight/struggle everyday and its OK to feel sorry for myself…

okay sorry for the rambling but i thought i should share! im about to go to the mall with my little brother, then watch idol and girls figure skating tonight! i think im having breakfast for dinner too which is always something to look forward too:) have a great thursday loves!

xoxo

amy<3

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17 Responses to getting nutty

  1. Molly says:

    mmm love breakfast for dinner :) Have a good night girly!

    xo-Molly
    http://www.givinganythingbutup.wordpress.com

  2. Danielle says:

    An ED is a disease and yes, it is hard! Glad you had that realization :)

  3. Sara says:

    Yeah–it’s good to realize that you don’t have to be strong all the time which means ignoring the problem.

    thats one of my favorite kashi bars! i love the pieces of popcorn. that one and cinnamon coffee cake are the best.

    and my tv schedule is the same!

    xoxo
    Sara

  4. Tori says:

    I love Sudoku too! And breakfast for dinner :)

  5. Laura says:

    Kashi Crunchy bars are the BEST!! I would start naming my favorites…but seriously, they are ALL my favorite!

  6. I completely understand your obsession with sudoku; I love it too! I also love breakfast for dinner ;)

    You should never feel the need to punish yourself for having an ED, hun. It’s not like we asked for this… it’s not a choice we made. It’s all illness just like anything else, but one that can be overcome with time and hard work. Keep fighting, hun. You have the strength to beat this!

  7. Smucker’s is actually one of my favorite nut butters…I love how salty it is!

    I think there’s a common misperception that ED is a choice, something selfish we can just snap out of. It is an illness, just like depression or bipolar disorder, and it requires treatment! Don’t ever feel guilty about your past…you did not bring this on yourself! I’m so proud of you for fighting through it! Have a great Friday girl :)

  8. I wish I could do sudoku! I mess myself up every time and get so frustrated! I’m glad you realized that what you’re going through is a difficult process, but you know what? You’re working really hard to get through it & you willl get there! Have a fabulous day! (: -Kylee

  9. this: i would have looked at the situation and punished myself (not eating) bc i have everything in the world i need, great parents, family, money, ect..but i let myself have an eating disorder.

    those words have come out of my mouth and swirled around my head so many times! there’s nothing worse than being depressed/ sick with an ED and beating yourself up for feeling bad! ugh! glad you’re coming around :). love those kashis, hate waking up lightheaded!

  10. unibegins says:

    I love sudoku too – I am completely obsessed! I find it a good distraction as I’m not allowed exercise at the moment (so hard to put into practice though)

    Love your blog xxx

  11. Jenna says:

    I bought that bar but haven’t tried it yet- looks grest!!
    I think u mentioned this already but are u taking the semester off?!
    Jenna xo

  12. Lizzy says:

    yummy bar! aren’t the popcorn pieces in it fun!? and sudoku is crazzzy addicting..once I start I can’t stop! :) I hope you have a great weekend, you are a gorgeous girlie and a great writer! I KNOW where you’re coming from…It’s so hard to separate our innerselves from the conflicts of the outside world. I work with young preg. mom’s all the time, in the beginning it used to REALLY upset me and I would not be able to eat lunch…when I noticed what I was doing to myself I took a big step back and looked at the whole picture. I then realized that hurting myself was NOT helping those who are in need…and I wont be able to help anyone if I’m wrapped up in myself and weak due to not fueling myself mid-day…by eating enough you can help a lot of people, maybe not right now..but in the future! you have a great heart to feel so strongly about this girl and her struggles! use it to power yourself through your struggles and come out stronger! I see sooo much success for you in your future! keep up those Sudoku’s so when you go back to school in pursuit of your great job your mind will be sharp! hehe! :) (sorry if this was ramblin’!) xoxo!

  13. lowandbhold says:

    You’re so right… you have to be good to you!!

  14. nattietan says:

    It’s definitely ok to feel sorry for yourself for what ED has put you through. Main thing is that you’re fighting it and that you continue to keep that fighting spirit!

    And remember, when you feel like punishing yourself, stop and think: Is it you or is it ED asking you to reprimand yourself? Either way though, no one should ever need to punish themselves. I feel that way on occasion to but I’m learning that what we need the most, is unconditional self-love. =)

    Nat
    xx

  15. Sara K says:

    Breakfast for dinner is the best! What’d you make?
    And yes, ED makes us punish ourselves for all sorts of crazy shiz…if only other people can get it through their heads that it’s not just about the food.

  16. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth) says:

    you’re right that ed is a disease and you didn’t choose it- but you also need to realize that you CAN CHANGE IT. i know you can <3

    xoxo
    shelley
    http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com

  17. kbwood says:

    you are soo right-you didnt chose it, you didnt sign up for it! but you ARE in control of it!! you ARE stronger because of it!! and you WILL get healthy! love you girl!

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